Random rambling….
It’s weird to write a post like this on election night, when everybody else is so excited or stressed about the result of the poll.
As a non-citizen, I continue my routine and sit in front of my computer, stressing over my life, future and reprocessing my suppressed emotional turmoil that has been going on for quite a while.
Today when I was riding the subway and reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower, I suddenly realized how hard it is to have a friend who knows exactly what presents to give you for your birthday or special occasions, or vice versa. Or to put it in simpler terms, knows what you really like and who you really are. Do I have friends like this? Am I a friend like this to someone else? Did I use to have friends like this but not anymore because we all live in different parts of the globe now? I have no answers to any of these questions. Sometimes I don’t even know what I like, but would keep thinking that how nice it’d be if someone gives you something that touches the inner most of your heart.
Another random (or not) realization: 5 signals that you’re profoundly sad.
1. When you cry yourself to sleep at night.
2. When you had a dream about real life events and wake up crying.
3. When you are in the middle of a routine, like going shopping, and suddenly tear up for no apparent reason.
4. When you force yourself to eat while crying.
5. When you cry openly on a crowded street and even the stares from strangers can’t stop you from crying.
Secretly admit that I’ve done 4 out of 5 of these. Looks like I’ve been in profound sadness for a while in my life.
Tomorrow is another day. And it’ll be time to clean up the dust and continue this grueling grad school application again.
The complete version of my short film “Heather Garden”
Finally. The trailer of my movie “Heather Garden” is out—Heather Garden Official Trailer (HD) (by Stella Guan)
Proud of my school—-La Salle University’s 150th Anniversary Video (by LASALLEUNIVERSITY)
